My name is Renee and I am 31 years old. I have three beautiful daughters, an amazing husband and so much to be grateful for. I am grateful for my health, my children, my husband, my family, my home and our jobs. I am also grateful for having suffered from anxiety for over a decade. Now I am sure that my last statement will shock and even confuse most people, but I am honestly grateful for everything I have gone through. I believe that I was put on a specific journey; one where I would struggle, learn to fight, learn to accept and in the end conquer anxiety, making me a stronger person that I ever dreamed possible. I believe that there is a reason for everything in life and throughout my struggle I always felt that in the end I was going to win and share my story. So here I am 🙂
One of the hardest things I found in my struggle was that no one really understood what I was going through. Anxiety was a topic that most people seemed extremely uncomfortable talking about for a couple of reasons. One reason I found was that people viewed anxiety as a problem that was all in the sufferers head, one that they should just be able to snap out of. Oh if it were that easy. Now my wonderful hubby of almost eight years has been by my side through all of this and even he doesn’t truly understand. Sometime last year when I was really in the thick of my recovery he said to me, “It just seems like you overthink everything?” Well to be blunt my response was, “Um, no shit! That’s my problem.” I know I overthink things, I know that I make things worse in my mind than they really are, I know I worry for reasons that are absurd; my problem is not understanding this, my problem is controlling my mind to stop all this “crazy” thinking. I had no idea how to regain control of my brain. Now here is not just one of the most important things that I have learned during my journey, it is THE MOST important thing that I have learned. Just like you can exercise and train your body to become stronger and more fit, you can train your brain to think the way you want it to. How simple that sounds, but in the end it is just that, simple. The thing that makes recovering from anxiety so difficult is the person suffering. We are the biggest obstacles to overcome. I will get to that later on though because I could write all day about that.
The second reason I found people to be so uncomfortable talking anxiety was that most people view mental disorders like anxiety and depression as a “crazy person’s” disorder; the type of person that needs to be locked away. I found the mindset to be that “normal” people didn’t suffer from things like anxiety. The more I have opened up about my experience the more people I found who have suffered as well. This is a very common problem, one I still don’t see people really talking about. Well, I am going to talk about it. I wish someone had told me twelve years ago that what I was going through was in fact normal. Maybe I wouldn’t have spent a decade beating myself up, convincing myself that I was indeed crazy. Maybe I wouldn’t have suffered so badly for so long, but then again I do believe I was put on this path for a reason. I wouldn’t be here sharing a very valuable lesson learned.
Make sure to read my other posts. See the top left tab to open the menu bar. Enjoy the journey 🙂