Life is crazy

I laugh at myself for thinking that starting a blog right after giving birth to my third child would be a rational idea, but here I am with many posts in and although I may not write as much as I would like, I am trying my best and enjoying myself all the while.  Thank you for following me and looking forward to my posts even though there may be lengthy gaps in between.  Stick with me for there is a bigger plan in the works.

So my life right now is super crazy.  I am sure most of you can relate, but I am going through the most wonderful kind of crazy at the moment.  I have three kids, 4, 2 (3 next month) and 6 months old.  I will say that these three little beauties of mine have made me into a much better person all while testing every bit of my patience and sanity.  I swear that becoming a mom is one of life’s most wonderful gifts and as beautiful as motherhood is, it kind of makes you a little bipolar.

I will live through a day that is filled with so many different emotions, in the end it sometimes feels like a lifetime in one day and it blows my mind at times that I made it out alive and…..happy.  These kids are just so darn cute.

As a mother at one moment you are staring into the eyes of your child totally mesmerized and baffled by how good God is that he allowed you to have this little slice of heaven to hold and call yours, then the very next moment you find yourself breathing in the corner with your eyes closed counting slowly because if you don’t you may just starting screaming and kicking like a lunatic because for the third time today your little slice of heaven has fallen to the floor in a full out tantrum because you won’t let her have her gummy snacks as breakfast.  Before kids I would have never imagined that I can go from total euphoria to border line psychopath all in two short seconds.

Kids challenge every part of who you are and if you are not sure of who that person is, you may just lose yourself.  That is one of the very blessings that anxiety has given me.  Coming out of it I am very sure of who I am.  I have strong values and morals and most of all a solid faith.  I know who I am and I am very true to myself.  Because of this I am also much more understanding with myself.  As a person and as a mother I do not ever have to be perfect.  All I have to do is be true to myself and who I am and the rest will fall into place.

If I want to sit on the couch and polish off a bag of cookies because I NEEDED them after the kind of day I had, I will not beat myself up about it the next day.  I will simply smile and say, “today is going to be a better day.”  Everyday when I wake up my first thought is, “today is going to be a good day.”

Okay that last line was a lie, most days that is what I think, there are many days where I wake up and think, “Are you fricken kidding me right now, it’s 6 o’clock and my daughter has to pee and I’m going to screeeammm!!!!!!!!!!”  Then after I take her to the bathroom, try and get her back into bed, fight only to lose and then have all three kids up at now 6:30, then I will usually say, “now I am going to make this a good day.”  What can I say, no one should ever be up before 7 o’clock.

So this post was no where near what I imagined I was going to write, but you get the gist of things.  I have been very busy, but I am not gone and I have so much more to share.  Thank you for being here 🙂

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