Happy New Year everyone! I hope that 2015 finds you healthy, happy and most importantly with a positive frame of mind. This picture sums up my frame of mind…….thankful!
There is so much to be thankful for. Just look around.
I want to start off the New Year by sharing with everyone something very exciting that I am working on. For the past two years now I have been diligently writing down notes regarding my struggle with anxiety. When I started this blog my intentions were to share my personal struggle and recovery from anxiety, but those were not the only ones. I had intended to use my blog as a way to navigate myself into a direction I had wanted to go in for years. I am finally putting into motion something that is now 10 plus years in the making. I am writing a book!
Even in the darkest moments of my struggle I knew that I was going to use my suffering to help other people. Right now I have begun the next chapter of my journey. With pages and books of notes, with voice recordings, with dreams and hope I am finally putting my story to life. I am writing a book that will tell my story from beginning to end. I don’t know how long it will take, but I am going to do it. Even if just a handful of people read my book and one person walks away feeling better (myself included here), then it will be worth it.
I had planned to start this book over the summer and then the reality of having a newborn, along with two other children, a home to take care of, a job, another job, a husband to love and a million other things going on took over and I decided to sit back and allow myself some time to get use to being a mother of 3 before I set forth on this huge task.
What I have learned since then is that being a mother of 3 children is absolutely insane and there will always be a million things to do and never enough time to do them so there is no better time than right now to suck it up, stop making excuses, stop complaining about how tired I am and set out to accomplish something that is truly important to me.
With my blog I have been giving everyone little glimpses into my life, but there is so much more to share with you. I will keep up with my blog as much as I can and hopefully more than I have in the past. It’s a new year right? I will keep you all updated on my progress as I go. For now here is a little taste. This is a paragraph from my book:
Anxiety has caused me to experience hate in a way I had never before felt. I never knew that it was possible to hate something so much. At times my hatred would make me feel so angry and out of control. I would often imagine that anxiety was a real object, one that I could hurt. I wanted to hurt it so bad. I wanted to punch it and in my mind I would punch it until my hands were bleeding. I would punch it until I was crying uncontrollably, and with bleeding hands, all the pain that had taken up residence in my heart would come rushing out. If I could just do this I would be free.
Follow my progress and feel free to leave your comments below.